she slips away

sept 22nd
she will say good bye
but for now
she lingers

I feel her trace the shape
of my arms
her warmth
on my face
and neck

she says
she will be back
but when she is gone
it is dark and cold
and I am
abandoned
again

i cant help
but look for her
beg for her
on the horizon
to return-
just a bit faster;
to linger-
just a little longer

dont go
i plead, inwardly
but instead
i say nothing

if she knows
how much i depend on her
maybe she would never
return

i pretend to enjoy
the coziness against the cold and hostile
and bury myself
under a heap of blankets and papers
watching my breath
in the cold frigid nights
knowing
she wouldn’t have wanted this
for me

maybe shes afraid, too
of coming too close
burning me
losing me
but
she could never

she leaves me
limerent and flushed
with her affection and attention

there is no one like her
i close my eyes
and feel her
slip away